


you have to pick up every stitch

by BeesKnees



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Monsters, and the lies monsters tell themselves, on the nature of monsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeesKnees/pseuds/BeesKnees
Summary: I wasn't made for violence. I was claimed by it, Rin protests.Ah, the Entity answers. The Spirit was remade for it.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	you have to pick up every stitch

She isn't a monster.

She isn't like the others. Rin holds onto this truth like an absolution. She was not made for this type of violence. She never craved it, was not an archetype of it. Her life was not the sort that should have attracted the Entity's attention, and sometimes she resents that. With a flaring anger, she looks at the majority of her compatriots and feels a profound sense of hatred. 

She doesn't regret her deal. It wasn't right that her father should be allowed to get away with what he had done. How _vain_. Why should her entire life have to be extinguished because of his failures? Rin could have survived them. Her mother could have survived them. The shame had never been theirs, and it hadn't been his decision to end all of their lives. He wasn't their epicenter.

And what does it say of him, of his monstrosity, when it comes to how he could cut them up? No simple poisons and quiet deaths for the Yamaoka family. Instead, an unmaking. A dissection. 

And her father, eyes glazed and gone, mercifully free of any of the repercussions of his actions. His failures had been erased from his mind. Rin and her mother were simple loose ends to clean up, not separate beings with hope, dreams, and failures of their own. 

Her father is the one who deserve to suffer with such slanderous names painted across him for all eternity. _Monster_.

She greedily holds onto what she does have, though, which is the complexity of what she does and what she is now. She is a force of hatred and she hates herself most of all, but she is no longer the victim. And, certainly, if her father were to be one of the Entity's beloveds for the rest of his afterlife, he would continue to be allowed to inflict pain. With every sacrifice, he would be offering up Rin and her mother again and again. Rin was sacrificed once. She has no intention of ever allowing that to happen again.

Besides, their sacrifices are not meant to be a passive interaction. With each hook, Rin is repaying the Entity for the chance it gave her to undo her father in every sense of the word. 

She did not worship at the altar of violence before her death, but she can celebrate what it has accomplished. With each broken scream, she remembers his expression – when she brought his mind back into his body, forcing him to contend with what he had done. She had made him feel the bite of the blade each time it had entered hers and her mother's bodies. She had imprinted on his corneas the images of her arms rent from her body. He had begged her for mercy, and it was such a delicious irony that Rin could feast on that alone for the end of her days.

So, she thinks of that when she hauls a solid body up against her, when she feels the wriggling mass of limbs and the panicky thump of a pulse. She thinks of her father crying when she heaves a still-living body down upon a hook until the metal pierces through the skin and crunches through the bone. 

She hate the fears in their eyes when she phases near them – that split second of recognition. Then, the fear. Then, the acceptance. Rin knows that cycle too well. She hates them for their weakness, for their inability to run faster, to figure out how to free themselves each and every time. If they are unable to escape her, their demises are their own faults. 

(In the after, when she will lie to herself once more, she will be nothing but rage again. She will rage against her father for making her a victim and then rage against her own victims for allowing themselves to be victims. But in that blinding moment, when they are in the center of a new map, and the Entity has claimed another soul and the sky has thundered red with approval, Rin is pleased. She is satisfied because the Entity is satisfied. The howling inside of her is quieted then. There is no more pain, no more tension between Rin and The Spirit. There is only the reality of being and existing at the Entity's pleasure.)

But that part is too fleeting for her to remember vividly. But that, perhaps, is why she goes back in each and every time instead of ending her business with the Entity. There is that chasing tunnel of emotion and then the relief at the end of it only for the whole messy business to start again. 

She is not a monster. Alive, she was not made for violence. 

_I was claimed by it_ , Rin protests.

_Ah_ , the Entity answers. _The Spirit was remade for it. There is no fury like that of one unjustly wronged, beloved._

_You need all types of monsters to frighten the world._


End file.
